Savanna and Saturday Nightd

The past two weekends Savanna and I have been having some battles. Our family rule has been that Saturday night we don't have sleep-overs. It isn't a new rule. Well 2 weekends .ago, she stayed the night Friday night at a friends. There was a group of girls that stayed together all day Saturday. They were all staying the night again and were going to the soccer game together. I get a text Saturday mid morning asking if she can stay the night. I told her no because the next day was Sunday. Her argument was "well we aren't going to church so why not". Which yes, she had a point, we weren't going to church because of Soccer. She knew the rule going into the weekend and I wasn't budging. Oh-she was mad, that is stupid, not fair, why am I so mean. I told her she was to be home by 11. I was trying to compromise. So the day has gone on, and she texts me about 6 more times, "Why can't I stay the night? Everyone wants me too." I would just reply with, I am sure they do. The final text said, "Why can't I leave at 11?" I replied with " Well, then be home at 10:30. She was quick to take the 11 time. She was upset and quiet with me all day Sunday. So this last weekend rolls around. I am at work and at about 6 pm I start to get texts. The first one started with "Can Molly stay the night at go to the game with us in the morning?" Again, the no saturday night rule applies here. I like to wake up Sunday morning with just my family at home. It is the Sabbath, and we really try to make it a family day. She was so mad when I told her no. I couldn't answer my phone at work, we were kind of busy. She called me like 7 times, text me a ton, "Answer your phone." "This is so not fair, You are being Mean." I was ready to strangle her. It was probably a good thing I was at work.
I can understand if she never got sleepovers, or friends, and that yes, I was a mean mom and made her do a lot around the house. Of all my kids, she gets away with the most. The only thing she has to do is keep her room clean and help put away her laundry just like the other kids, and half the time hers is messy because she had practice or forgot. I love Savanna with all my heart but am feeling like there is a gap forming between us that I need to refill and get us connected again.

The other thing about this that I want to change is that my kids see me as the "no" parent and Brad as the "yes" parent. He will say, "Well let's ask your mom."or "You'll have to ask mom about that one."So I brought it up to him, because I want to change this and am not sure how. He said that "I get upset if he says yes to something that I don't like" which I can see his point there, i have done that before, and he just wants to make sure that I am ok with it. Which i am thankful for that he is thinking of me. So how do we word things to look like Brad and I are a team and that I am not the dominating bad guy. I just can see the teenage years as me the bad guy and Brad the nice guy, and I am not liking that scenario. Does anyone have any parenting advice on this subject because I could use some help.

Ps. I just wanted to add that I do not say these things to be disrespectful about Savanna and her feelings. I remember feeling that as a teenager and she is entitled to feel these things. She is a good kid and most the time I have no issues with her and love her with all my heart, I guess I am just venting.

"THE" talk

This post might be a little risky for little eyes.

Hallie is going to be 10 yrs old next month. It is crazy how fast time is passing. I finally had THE talk with her on Sunday morning. Her and Livee came with me before the Soccer game and we had some good car time together. I had mentioned a few days before that her and I needed to talk and so she was kind of prepared for it. She actually was very open to talking and very comfortable. Very opposite of Savanna. She told me a couple things that shocked me. I am only sharing for you mom's with 4th graders so you know what they are hearing at school. Her friend S. has a boyfriend and S. is telling her friends that he raped her. She wondered what "rape" meant. So we talked about that and she said "I don't think that is what she meant. I think she was meaning like he takes his clothes off and stuff." Her other friend S. said that her boyfriend touches her stuff and she likes it. Which that led into that topic. Hallie was very mature about it all and knew that these girls were not doing what was right. She is friends with a lot of kids at school. She loves to be the nice one that helps the last one and has lots of friends, but has a couple really great best friends that really are good girls and gets along great with and they have the same morals. I am thankful for them. My Hallie is turning into a big little girl and maturing right before my eyes.