Bows...

Found this cute idea.  It is a hair bow.  She offers a tutorial on how to make them HERE.

Helpful...

Livee is so willing to be helpful.  Here is what happened yesterday. 
Livee comes to me and says "When we fix the hot tub?" (We have a hot tub in the back that needs some wiring done)Livee asks.
Me "When we fix the hot tub?"  I usually repeat what she says just to make sure I understood her language=).
"Yeah"
"We have to get some money first."
"Money?"  She pauses and is doing some thinking, and then her eyes widen and she lights up and says "I have some money."  She runs to her bedroom and comes back down stairs and says "Here mommy, fix hot tub."  She handed me her only 2 quarters. 
She is so sweet.  I wish my older kids would hand over their money so easily. 

Thinking of mom today.  Aleena's birthday is tomorrow and it will be the first grandchild birthday she hasn't been here for.  She always made it a point to make a card and send a little something in the mail. 
I am wondering how Dad will do today.  He is attending a funeral of a young lady that lost her husband.  Somedays I have such a strong urge to just pick up everything and move home.  I know it probably isn't the answer, but it doesn't stop me from feeling that way. 
I wanted to call her this morning and talk about a few things:  Savanna asked me this morning for $8.  She needed to give some money to her friend.  Her mom was going to get her a crown for her costume.  Savanna didn't think we would have time to get one.  I told her I would get her one.  Then she asked for a new pair of shoes for her costume.  I told her to look in my closet.  Then she showed me the dress/costume her friend had given her to wear that the mom put together.  It is very pretty.  She is going to be Miss Idaho. - Here are my thoughts on the situation *Why is her friend's mom making her costume and I wasn't aware of it?  *I need to not be at work so much so I know what is going on *Am I working to much? *Does she think I am to busy to ask me for things? *Why would she assume that we don't have time to get her something?  *I appreciate the time her friends mom put into her costume, but I wanted that to be me. * 8$ for a crown? *I need to figure out how to cut back at work? *She doesn't need me anymore. *She is growing up way to fast.
 I know some of my thoughts are not rash, or reasonable, but for some reason talking to mom about these things helped me work them out because she would help me reason out the situation. 

Well, off to the races....

Boomer and Livee...

Poor Boomer.  Livee thinks he is her personal pillow.  He puts up with it most of the time until she starts sitting on his head.  He is good at getting up and moving.  If he really gets sick of her, he will give her a warning nibble.  It doesn't even hurt her, but it hurts her feelings.  But I can tell her a thousand times, but sometimes it takes Boomer telling her to stop it.  I think he puts up with it because he knows he will get a few sneak bites of whatever she has in her hand.

Pumpkins...

 We decided to carve pumpkins last night.  It went so smooth.  In years past, it has been a big to-do.  This year everyone pretty much did theirs with a little help.  Livee did pretty good.  I helped her carve hers, then she poked it a few times and tried to cut it but couldn't really do anything to it.  Aleena even drew her own design with the help of Hallie.  Savanna got creative with the drill bit.  What a fun night. 

I can  not keep a shirt on this boy.  I think he likes to show off his muscles=).

Boomer just hanging out being so good.

From left to right

Aleena, Livee, Hallie, Jase, Savanna

Funeral Brownies...

At mom's funeral luncheon, there were these divine brownies.  One of mom's friends, Deb Whiteley, was nice enough to give us the recipe.  I will be trying these in the near future. 

Caramel Brownie Recipe


1 package (14 oz.) caramels
3/4 cup coarsely chopped pecans or walnuts
1 can (5 oz.) evaporated milk
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
1 box Betty Crocker German Chocolate Cake
1 cup flaked coconut
2/3 cup butter (melted)

Heat oven to 350 degrees. Heat caramels and 1/4 cup of the milk in saucepan over medium heat, stirring constantly, until caramels are melted and mixture is smooth. Keep mixture warm over low heat, stirring occasionally. Mix cake mix (dry), butter, remaining milk and the pecans. Spread half of the dough in ungreased 9x13 pan. Bake 6 minutes; remove from oven. Sprinkle chocolate chips and coconut over baked layer. Drizzle caramel mixture over chocolate chips and coconut. Drop remaining dough by spoon onto caramel layer, spreading evenly. Bake until cake portion is slightly dry to touch, 15 to 20 minutes longer; cool completely. Refrigerate until firm.

I use a glass baking dish and wipe some butter along the edges. I found some of the caramel sticks to the edges making it hard to get loose after baking. Also, I take the remaining dough for the last layer and press it between my fingers before placing it onto the caramel. This spreads it easier.

Confrontation...

Sunday morning I had a run in with confrontaion.  This is one word that I can use HATE and really mean it.  I HATE confrontation.  It makes me feel ugly and mad inside.  So here is the scenario:  Hallie had just played a soccer game in the cold rain and wind at 8 am.  They had played a great game but lost it at the last minute by one point.  -Hallie is a defender-sweeper- and stands right in front of the goalie and tries to sweep the ball out so it doesn't make it to the goal.  There are times where it is going to get past everybody and that is when the goalie has to step up her game.  It is never one persons fault when a goal is scored- So the team was huddled around the coach after game getting all their stuff.  I walked over to get her-keep in mind, I woke up on the irritable, emotional side of the bed=(.  and I saw a grama leaned over with her arm around her and her face buried in her ear telling Hallie something.  The grama looked up and saw that I was right there.  She says to me "I was just telling her that she really hurt L. feelings today."(L is the goalie, and L. has said a few hurtful things to Hallie in the past if a ball gets past her and we have just let it go) So I was assuming that the grama meant maybe Hallie finally said something back.  And the grama is talking to me like she is doing me a favor by telling me this as a parent.  I couldn't believe how fast her one statement set me off.  So I said "Well, L has hurt Hallie's feelings many times before so you need to talk to her about that."  The grama asked "When?"  I replied with "the last 2 games."  So now things are getting heated and I new at any moment I might start to cry.  What is with me and crying.  I wasn't sad, I was mad and just shocked and so I guess my body deals with that by crying.  So I said "Hallie let's go and I walked away." 
So on the way to the car I was asking Hallie what she said that hurt her feelings.  Hallie said she didn't say anything.  So I asked her what the Grama said to her in her ear.  She said "You really hurt L's feelings when you don't stop all the balls.  It is really hard to be a goalie maybe you should try it sometime."  That is what really set me over the edge.  How dare her ruin this for Hallie.  She should have walked away from this tournament proud that she did her best.  Even the coach just done giving them the positive speech.  And I feel if there is a problem with Hallie's playing then why was she in the whole game. Not every player is perfect.  I could start listing mistakes that every girl made, but it isn't about that.  It is the fact that she turned this into a negative. And if the parent has a problem with something it should be told to the coach.  Everyone knows the goalie is a hard position, but no one goes to her and tells her it hurt their feelings because she missed that ball.  They actually go up to her and say positive things like "it's okay."  "We will get em next time"  or others. 
Brad was already at the car and so when we got in I just started crying and Hal was upset.  Again, don't know why I was crying.  Brad was like "what the heck happened."  He must think I fell off my rocker=).  I just wished I could have said something witty back, or knew excactly what she was talking about.  The problem was that once I started crying I couldn't stop my cryer.  I dropped Brad and Hallie off and went to the store to get donuts.  I was just really upset and it took me quite some time to cool off.  I sat in my car saying a little prayer.  It finally went away.  Later I talked to Hallie and told her that she did a great job on her game, which she did.  And that I could go to the coach and to the lady and make a big to-do but that won't change who they are.  We can control who we are.  You will know in your heart if you did your very best and that is all that counts.  Inside me wants to go and say something to the coach.  And I really want to tell that lady "Do not touch or talk to my daughter again unless it is a positive "good game".  Or do I just let it go?  The season is over for now.  They have a soccer party Saturday and then they have a month break until indoor starts.  Hallie is over it.  And probably thinks I over reacted, which I probably did.  I don't like having ill feelings towards people and need to figure out how to change that.  I know I will see this lady again.  What do I do?

Pondering...

I got to work early last week.  I was parked doing some pondering in my car.  I looked over and there was this most beautiful tree.  I park by it all the time, but with the season change it became this beautiful fire-ee vivid tree.  I need to find out what kind of tree it is.  There is something about nature beauties that are calming to my soul right now. 

Flag Football...

 Jase completed his first season of flag football.  He is #33.  I didn't get a super ton of pictures.  He had mixed feelings about it.  He loved the games and scoring, which he did a handful of times.  But he didn't love the practices but they kept him busy and out of trouble.   

Jase is the one on the left front. 

It was fun for him to go against some of his friends from school.  We will see if he does it again this next year.  He is really missing soccer.

St. George Vacation...

In September I took myself on a retreat. We went last year and after having so much fun decided to make it an annual thing. Since KD moved there, I was the only one that had to travel. For about a week before the trip it was an up and down on and off again thing as to where I wasn't sure I was going to make it. After much stewing I finally was on the road. It took me about 9 hours. Some people thought I was crazy driving by myself. The drive went surprisingly fast. I only had to stop twice. It gave me a lot of time to think and just listen to music, and just get in tune with myself. My mom wanted to tag along but she just didn't feel good enough to make it that far. Once I got there I stayed at my sisters for the first few days. I made them pancakes, and let them help make choc chip cookies. It really made me think about how I have gotten out of the habit of being with my kids. I am not as patient with them in letting them help me or just be there for them without the house work, or computer, or other distractions becoming more important. When I was at KD's it was fun cooking with them and hanging out. I need to have those same desires at home.

After a few days, we checked into the Trendwest Condos there. They were so nice. We watched lots of fun movies: Letters to Juliet, Back-up Plan, Dear John, The Last Song, Date Night. We got to attend to Live productions at the Tuachan Theatre. Tarzan, and Crazy for You. This is a beautiful outdoor ampi-theatre set against the canyon. I got a massage, went to a yummy cupcake store called The sweet tooth fairy. We must have both been in the mexican food mood, because we ate a lot of mexican. It was really good. I brought my ribbon and while watching movies I made a handful of bows. We sat around the pool. We had the pool all to ourselves most of the time. The condos are at the top of a hill, so we would take a walk in the mornings and walk to the bottom and back up. It was the perfect incline for a great walk.

My drive home started on Wed. September 22. I left in the morning. I made a pit stop in Salt Lake at the Wood Connection. It is this really cool wood store that someday I would like to have a small store like it. I saw some really cute ideas, but I couldn't force myself to buy any of it because I knew I could go home and make it. That day was actually Kell's birthday, so I stopped in Burley for the night. My mom and dad came into town and met us for dinner. We went to the Uppercrust. My mom looked so weak and tired. I mentioned to Brad that she is aging a year every hour. It was so good to see her. Who knew that would be the last time I would see her. What a special day.

I stayed the night at Kell's house that night and finished my trip home the next morning. It was good to get away, but it was so nice to get home and see my honey and kids. Brad is so incredible to let me go. I didn't even have to worry one time if the kids were okay. He is such a good Mr. Mom. He is even better at being mom then I am. It was a fun time. We are already making plans for next year.

Hiding...

P.S.  Something strange is going on.  I am going out on a limb saying this out loud.  But I really don't want to go anywhere where people know me.  This is a hard thing for me to explain.  For example, I went to go to this really big yard sale in the neighbor hood.  I recognized all these cars of people I knew and I turned around and didn't go.  I have nothing against these people.  They are my friends from church.  But it is like something in me that takes over.  I do have one friend that I can hang out with that it doesn't seem to bother me but when I am with her I am not very exciting or sparkly.  Sorry R.  I think that is why I haven't wanted to go to work all week.  I have to see people I know and talk.  Maybe it is the talking.  My talker just wants to be quiet and my smiler just want to do nothing.  Has anyone ever experienced this before?  I am sure it will pass, but for now.  If I don't stop and talk to you, please don't take it personal.

time passing...

Work has kept me busy all week which has made the week fly by.  It seems I am having happier days.  I still have my moments that come out of nowhere, but this week was better. 
My husband did this nicey, and bought himself a new fancy hi-tech phone and let me have the free one.  It is so crazy fancy.  I got it yesterday afternoon.  Went to work, and really hadn't had time to play with it.  Finally about midnight, I was finishing up at work, went to use the bathroom before I left, and as I was pulling my pants down, KURPLUNK!!!.  I hadn't even owned it for 12 hours and I already dropped the *&#! thing in the toilet.  I came home and did surgery on it to get it all dry.  It is working fine today.  the only scar is this water mark in the corner that  you can see on white screens.  Livable.  Maybe over time it will go away=).  I hate when I do crap like that.  Brad thinks I am so hard on cell phones.  I don't drop it in the toilet on purpose, or run it over in the parking lot, or drop it in the kitchen sink, or drop it in the rest-stop on the concrete floor, or .... I know.  I see a pattern. 

On another note, I had some thoughts for you mom.  These are just random things that I have thought about on my way to work these past few days:
*Did it hurt to die?
*Did you feel alone?  Or was Cher there with you?
*What do you do in heaven? 
*Did you know that morning?  Or was it a surprise? 
*What didn't you get done in this lifetime that you wished you would have?
*Are you happy?
*Can you see all of us at once up there? Or do you just see one person at a time?
*How do you think Dad is REALLY doing? 


Well, I know some of these are a bit silly, but they are things I ponder about.  I will have to get all the answers when I see her again.

Sticky Popcorn

2 cubes of butter                                         14 oz. mini marshmallows
1 c. sugar                                                      3-4 bags microwave butter popcorn
2 TBS karo
2 TBS water
 
In pan melt butter.  Add sugar, karo and water.  Cook until it starts to thicken and turns a yellowish color.  Add marshmallows, pour over popped popcorn.

Dear Mom...

Hey Mom, it's me.-(I used to always say that as a phone opener.  Little Lame).
I got all 4 tutu's done today.  Aim came over and helped me with Kell's.  Kell is sure missing your willingness to sew her whaterver she wanted=).  They turned out so cute, and the boas went on so easy.  I think I will be finding feathers everywhere for a while.  I can't wait to try out the serger of yours.  I tried to keep it threaded so I could see how it was suppose to be.  I am sure I will be calling you if I have problems with. I am going to use it on the bottoms of the socks I bought for the witch costumes.  I want to cut the feet off and make them leggings.  You know that cd I got the song off of for the funeral, I think it is Joshua Bell?  I want to get a copy of it.  I find myself listening to classiscal music a lot lately.  You would think it would make me sad, but it actually makes me feel peaceful and close to you.  Remember how Dad used to blair his classical music on Sundays while we were trying to eat?  Aleena has actually really started to like it.  I turned it off today and she told me to turn it back on.  "That is music like you play, mommy."  Sadly I think Aleena forgot I played the violin until I pulled it out for the funeral.  I know it is sad.  Well, my couch is calling me to chill with Brad.  Have a good night.
I love you
Lib

Dear Mom...

Dear Mom, You won't answer your phone anymore so I guess letters will have to do=).  How is your day going?  Mine has been better.  The sun seems to be beautiful today.  This past week I haven't even noticed it.  Livee and I climbed back in bed this morning for about an hour.  I love snuggling under the big comfy blankets when it is cold out.  Has it been cold there in the mornings?  I bet it has been.  I have been trying to get to the bottom of my 80 loads of laundry today.  I swear it is a never ending battle.  Livee saw your picture on the wall today and was talking to you, "drama Doody".  At first, I thought she was seeing spirits then I realized it was your picture she was talking to.  It made me think of the conversation you had with her on the phone a couple weeks ago when she had the giggles.  Everything you said, she would just start laughing.  That was so funny.
Remember that delicious raspberry danish bread braid that your neighbor made for the family last week?  Well, I found a recipe today and tried it.  Livee has been my helper.  It made 2 braids.  One braid came apart while cooking, the other one looks really good.  I forgot to egg wash them before baking.  What is the purpose of the egg wash?  Maybe for color?  Anyways, I have yet to try it.  I will let you know how it turns out.  Maybe I can make one while I am there for Thanksgiving. 
What is Dad going to do for Halloween?  I am really wanting to go home for Halloween.  We will see if my schedule works out and if it is in our budget. How do you think I should attach the boas onto the kids costumes?  What kind of clothing should the girls wear under their tutu's for their witch costumes?  Anyways, I have to go get ready for work.  Have a good day.
I love you.
Lib

Days Off..

I got to have the last 2 days off.  I love my days off.  I think my house likes it too.  Brad and I spent a good  3 hours upstairs in the kids' bedrooms.  We got closets cleaned out and dressers cleaned out and they look so nice and pretty, and they smell prettier too.  Now if we can just keep it that way.  I picked up some supplies to make a couple witch costumes for Halloween.  Oh-I just remembered I forgot raffia at the store for brooms. 
Talked to Dad yesterday.  It was good to talk to him.  He loves his chickens and is working on a beautiful coop for them, so he has spent a lot of time out there on that.  I told him he might get sick of our phone calls because we used to call mom and just chat.  He just chuckled his famous chuckle and I am sure he was crying a bit too.  It was good to talk to him.  It made me feel better.  He actually was the first to say "Love you guys".  Now don't get me wrong, we are a close family, but saying I love you for my dad is hard because he would cry every time, so saying I love you was only a special thing.  I have heard it twice in the last week.  I think it is awesome and I almost feel like going through this funeral/death process has brought our family closer.  There is something about crying together and not be afraid of crying that brings you closer.  So I am thankful I have this chance to have a closer relationship to my dad.  I just hope he doesn't go crazy with all us sappy girls=). 
Anyways, I am determined to have a productive, happy day.  Have a good day.

The weekend...

Friday has been my hardest day so far.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  I made myself get up.  My friend Rachel came over and took me to the new Walgreens in town.  I wasn't too bad until the dreaded driving to work.  I cried lots on the way to work.  I wasn't sure how my shift was going to go.  Luckily nobody there new what was going on inside me.  I was ok until a guy came in that happens to have family in Oakley and had heard the news.  He asked if it was my mom, and then he wanted to get all personal about what happened.  He lost his dad about a year ago and he wanted to be a friend and help and talk, but I couldn't talk about it and try to focus on my work and try keep it together so I had  to keep avoiding the poor guy.  Hopefully he will forgive me for that.  Finally after work, it was like it all had to come out.  Even after getting home it just kept coming out (the crying).  Why do I feel silly admitting this.  It is just hard to put words on how it just overcomes you.  When I woke up Saturday morning, it was like this fog hung over me.  I just wanted to sleep.  My mouth didn't want to talk unless it was to family (I know this sounds weird), and I didn't even want to eat.  This has never happened to me.  A package of skittles sat on my front seat in my car and I didn't even want them (now that is so not like me).  I got through all of the kids' games and running around.  I had to go to work.  It took everything in me to get excited about going.  Once I got there and I ate something and got in the groove of things, it was like this fog just lifted off me.  I am guessing that this might happen again and that I shouldn't feel silly or wierd about feeling this way.  I am hoping this is a normal occurance in the grieving process.  On a better note, today I feel good and have had the chance to spend some quality time with my kids with very few interruptions.
-writing my feelings down has really helped me deal with this.  I know that some of it is private stuff but I really thing it is helping me deal with my feelings. 

Thursday...

Another slumpy day.  Aleena woke up with a tummy ache this morning.  I thought for sure she was going to get the barfing stuff, but she ended up never throwing up, thank goodness.  We climbed back in bed after dropping the kids off at school.  I don't think we got around to breakfast until 10 am.  Against my own will, I decided to do something productive today, so I pulled out my coupons and got those filed and made a list so I could hit Albertson's on my way home from work.  It felt good to do some saving.  Work was okay.  I wasn't really in the mood to be there, but it turned out to be a busy night, so it went by fast, and tips were fairly decent.  On my way to work, I had the same sad moment again.  Went to call mom and remembered she isn't on the other end of the phone anymore, and won't be.  I just wanted to see how her day was going? 
Savanna go to get out of school early today.  She had a soccer game in McCall.  Coach Amanda rented a van and took all the girls together.  Sounds like they had a really fun time driving and hanging out together, even if they did lose by 1. 
I found a couple really cute and cheap witch hats at the Family Dollar store today, plus they had Halloween trick or treat bags for $1.  I need to get making costumes.  It is going to be the 31st before I know it.  I am torn on how to plan for Halloween.  It falls on a Sunday this year.  What is everyone else doing?  W

death hang-over...

I am really having a hard time wanting to check back into reality.  I have been so tired too.  I went back to work today.  I used to call my mom on my drives to work.  So I called my dad instead.  He was ok.  Everyone left today and so it was just him. He decided to go into work.  Tonight will be the first night he has to come home to a quiet house.  I am feeling a bit sad for him tonight.  I know he has to go through this but it hurts to know he might be hurting.  My prayers are with him tonight.
  I have just been kind of blah.  My sister and I were talking and she was feeling the same way.  So we have labeled our feelings as a Death Hang-over.  Maybe tomorrow I will have more energy.  My kids were so good today and let me get a nap.  Livee and I crashed on the couch.  She came home yesterday with a tummy bug and fell asleep on my chest.  Going to go snuggle in bed.  Good Night.

Mom...

I found out Wednesday morning that mom had passed away.  Mom has been living with some major health issues and has been tied down to a lot of bed time this past 6 months.  My siblings and I have had a few conversations where we knew there was a good chance that her time could be coming soon.  No matter how much time I had to prepare for that phone call, I wasn't ready.  After I got the phone call, life started feeling a bit surreal.  My mind knew it was real, but my heart couldn't understand it. She mentioned to my dad a few weeks ago, that if she couldn't get better that she was ready to go.  Not many people get their wishes so easily and peacefully.  They must have needed her in heaven. I immediately started packing so I could go and be with my dad, who my heart was breaking for, and the rest of my family.  Brad was such an incredible support through the whole thing, I couldn't have done it without him.  It took me twice as long to get packed because I felt like this A.D.D. child that couldn't focus.  All I wanted to do was get in the car and drive to my Dad and be with my family.  Again, Brad saved me.  We finally got home around 8 pm.  Kell, Matt and Amy had a chance to get their first.  Nate was able to be their when the Mortuary took her body away and be with my Dad.  After the news traveled, which didn't take but a few  minutes, the love and support just started pouring in.  We had people over vacuuming, and cleaning getting the house ready for family to get there.  We had tons of people bring us hot, yummy food and goodies.  Which we ate almost all of it.  There were a lot of us there.  Many people sent money, flowers and plants, and many warm wishes.  We didn't have to worry one time what we were going to eat, and who was going to fix it.  Plus we had wonderful ladies volunteer to help watch the kids when it was time to let us adult kids have some time with our Dad and Mom. 
KayDee made it in on Thursday.  She met us at the Mortuary to help start the  planning.  It was me, KayDee, KellyRae, and Amy that were present at the mortuary, helping Dad plan.  Not the funnest of planning meetings, but one that will be in my memory forever.  Our first thing on our to-do list was the Obituary.  We only had one day to write it.  How do you put one persons life into a couple of paragraphs?  Then we had to figure out musical numbers.  We all thought going into this that we would not sing, or be doing much of the speaking, but it turned out quite opposite.  We were all involved and it was exactly how mom would have wanted it. 
Amylee and Chris made it in Thursday..Linden came in on Friday, Greg made it on Saturday, and Dawn came in on Sunday.  Saturday Kaydee decided to have Gracie baptised since everyone was in town.  The spirit was so strong there.  Between mom's death and the special spirit that Gracie has, it was a very moving baptism. 
Through the weekend we practiced our musical numbers, did lots of talking about mom so we could get a life sketch written, and just did a lot of hanging out together.  The husbands I think were getting a bit annoyed by the constant practicing of some sort of song because the piano is in the tv room.  They never said anything but thank you guys for putting up with that. 
Sunday my Dad went to church.  He didn't do much sitting down the whole weekend.  He just kept busy with yard work, answered every phone call, talked to everyone he saw, and just handled it with such grace.  Anyways, we didn't want him sitting at church all alone, so we loaded everyone up and headed to church.  It was testimony meeting.  We were all surprised when my brother Greg got up there and shared his testimony.  He has a beautiful testimony and it was wonderful to hear. 
Sunday night was a viewing in Burley at the Funeral home.  I woke up Sunday morning with extra large butterflies and couldn't get rid of them all day.  I swear I was going to have an anxiety attack.  I was trying to get my violin piece ready, did I mention before that I was the one that got to write and deliver the life sketch, and us girls had to sing a song.  Plus it was the day that I had to see my mother in a casket.  When we got there and I saw her lying there, looking so beautiful and peaceful and rested, with the beautiful flowers, all my nerves disappeared.  It was this incredible feeling that washed over me.  When I saw her about 2 weeks ago, she looked so tired and weak and it took everything in her to make it to dinner that night at the Uppercrust there in Burley.  That would be the last time I saw her.  That place will hold a special place in my heart.  Anyways, the rest of the viewing went so good.  There was a non-stop line from 6pm to about 8:30 pm.  Lots of friends and family.  My Dad really set the mood with this positive, peaceful feeling.  We still shed a few tears with some special people, but it felt so good to be at peace with it. 
It was fun to watch everyone in line pointing and trying to figure out which kid was what.  There were 8 of us in line, and some of these people hadn't seen us in 15 years so it was like a little reunion with a lot of these people. 
After, we were all starving so we stopped at Dairy Queen.  We were in line ordering.  My Dad gets up to order right before he turns around and says, "What does mom want?"  And he just smiled and laughed between a few tears. 
Monday morning was finally here.  We got up and got everyone ready for the funeral.  We got their early to run through all our songs.  Their was a viewing for an hour before.  Again, lots of friends and more family.  We all had our chance to say our last good-byes.  The funeral went wonderful.  I kept asking mom if she could please get us through the musical numbers without crying our heads off.  I know she was there, because we got through all of them.  I just couldn't believe how flawless things went.  A funny is we decided to have pork roasts for the luncheon after, and they had started cooking them that morning.   When we were getting ready to start the funeral this overwhelming smell of Sunday dinner came through.  It was like it was choreographed into it all because in the life sketch I talked about how coming home from church on Sunday the house would smell so good.  After the funeral, we headed to the cemetery where we buried her by Cherrilyn, my older sister.  Greg gave a thoughtful prayer and we said goodbye.  It had been raining in the morning, but when we got out to go to the cemetery it was just beautiful and sun shining.  We then went back to the church and have a wonderful Dinner of Pork Roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, jello, green salad, rolls, and yummy cookies and brownies.  The rest of the day was just so nice.  We just rested and talked and ate and laughed. 
The grandkids actually took the whole weekend so good.  They were sad a bit at the funeral, but just loved being with each other and that is how mom loved it.  It was a little weird to all be gathered there without her.  I know she was there in spirit and was pain free and could enjoy the family reunion with such a happy heart.  Amylee and Chris headed out Monday, and so did Brad.  Tuesday Kell and I got up and did some major cleaning and went through a few things.  I really could have stayed there for a few more weeks.  It felt so safe there.  It was like I didn't have to think about real life.  It felt like there was this bubble around us and it was just about us.  Kind of like old times.  My husband was so good at just letting me have my time with my brothers and sisters and my kids were so incredibly understanding at letting me just be a daughter over the weekend, and let me check out of my mom duties for a few days.  I can't believe the weekend has come and gone already.  I love you mom and will miss you greatly and I am thankful I am at peace with where she is and how wonderful she is feeling. 

Here is Mom's Obituary:

http://www.magicvalley.com/app/obituaries/?type=obit&id=78955

Anytime...

My heart has been acheing today for a friend.  Her husband had a stroke and I am not sure how it is going to turn out for them.  It really has made me realize how at anytime it could be anyone of us that has a traumatic something change our lives.  I know they are surrounded by lots of family and love and support and a lot of friends are praying for them, but I still just have been very emotional about it.  You are in our prayers tonight.